If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Rating-Rental X-Men 3 sucks. What the fuck happened, the first two X-Men movies are some of my favorite action movies ever, so you could imagine how shocked I was at the sheer flaming awfulness of this one. The plot takes place some time after X2, after the announcement of a cure for mutants, The Brotherhood launches an assault against humanity and all that stands between them and the extinction of the human race is the X-Men. The script for this film sucks. There is so much wrong with it that I don't even know where to start. Oh I know, how about the completely stupid handling of Wolverine/Jean Grey romance. In X-men 1 and 2, the relationship between the two characters felt natural, organic, and real. Here, it feels hokey, tacked on, useless, and overall just uninteresting. I would say spoiler alert, but since this movie has been out for almost 7 years I'm not. When Jean wakes up from her coma the first thing she does is basically tell wolverine "Fuck me", doesn't that seem... oh I don't know: dumb? And when they are basically "Doing it" all I was doing was looking at my watch. It doesn't help that the dialogue is shit. There is a lot of action in X-Men 3, I would dare say too much. It replaces all of the characterization and overall feel that I fell in love with in X-Men 1 & 2, the star of those movies in my opinion wasn't the action scenes, it was the characters, story, and dialogue. But I will say, the action that is here is well directed and overall pretty impressive. From the fight between Juggernaut and Wolverine, to forest battle, and the climatic battle at the end, there is plenty of eye candy. The special effects here are a mixed bag: The explosions, fire, and ice effects look good. But the make-up for Beast and Mystique, and Wolverines claws look AWFUL. With that huge budget this film had, that was the best that they could do?! The plot here is so uninteresting (Just like almost everything else about the film, apparently) , it's like they sat down and said "How can we make the audience not give a shit. Oh I know! Lets change all of their personalities, turn them all into total assholes. And you know all that characterization and stuff that the critics loved? Get rid of it. Just replace it with explosions." "Brilliant idea! What's your name again?" "Simon Kinberg" Director Brett Ratner has taken all of the things that the audience loved about X-men 1 and 2 and replaced them with nonstop explosions. While there are people who like X-men 3 (Roger Ebert, KOREY!) as you can see I'm not one of them. Thankfully, several years later X-Men First Class came to the rescue (And boy, was it fucking awesome). If you have to see X-Men 3, just rent it. There is absolutely no reason to buy this movie, it just sucks.