If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Thaaaat's right! It's a Friday, we're all completely drunk, and there's an epic amount of new trailers floating around that you just have to see. No literally, you have to see all of them. If you don't we won't respect you as a person anymore and we'll have to change our Facebook friendship status from "friends" to "strangely awkward around".
First up we have the directorial debut of our close and personal friend Joseph Gordon-Levitt (or "Jiggle" as those closest to him get to call him) titled "Don Jon". In it, Jiggle plays the titular character - a New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, as he develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love (Scarlett Johansson in a bit of stunt casting since technically she's EVERYONE'S potential true love). Bonus points for including a fake Channing Tatum Nicholas Sparks movie and the Funky Bunch:
In the next example of someone comically singing along to a song (is that a thing now? Are we going to have that in every comedy trailer soon?), we have "We're The Millers" from director Rawson Marshall Thurber ("Dodgeball") and a whole slew of writers (seriously... how many rewrites did this thing have?). The film centers around a small time pot dealer played by Jason Sudeikis who assembles a motley crew of random building tenants to help him transport a "smidge of pot" from across the border. On the outside it looks like a twisted version of "Family Vacation" meets "Harold and Kumar"... but we're pretty sure every single male reader is going to stop reading this paragraph and skip right to the video immediately after we tell them that Jennifer Aniston strips in the trailer. Yup... hey ladies. You're probably reading this while some dude next to you is drooling over a woman that would never sleep with him in a million years. It's ok. We always liked her better than Angelina too. Also no we don't think your butt looks big in those jeans. You're welcome.
The next film also has a character singing along to a popular song... except that the song is "Master of Puppets" and the singer is James Hetfield of Metallica. The unfortunately-named-for-middle-school Nimród Antal ("Predators") directs the 3D event film "Metallica: Through the Never", a showcase of re-recorded Metallica songs wrapped up in a story featuring a crew member ("Chronicle" star Dane Dehaan) whose life gets turned on it's head during a show.
And lastly, a movie we totally thought was about a Canadian prog-rock band fronted by Geddy Lee but turned out to be a movie from the narrator of Arrested Development about Thor driving a race car, we have "Rush" - a biopic about Formula 1 champion driver Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl) and his showdown with rival James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) that looks to have some absolutely stunning visuals and promises not to have a post-credit scene where Tony Stark hogs the spotlight.
See you next week, Spillios!