If it's crap ... We'll tell you
What? It's not Spring Break? Since when? No, I will not put my top back on. But wait a second, Spring Break is over already? That's entirely unacceptable! I demand more debauchery! Who's with me? Glad to hear it, because even though Spring Break is over, The Loading Bar has a super special after party for all of you dedicated fans! What? You haven't heard yet?! Well that's just plain unacceptable. Pull up a chair and I'll tell you a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. You see, Spill wants to send Jason and me to E3 this year, but if we're going to do it - we need your help during the apocalypse of insanity that we've dubbed:
Ever since I was a wee tyke, I've always been fascinated by the spectacle, the wonder, the downright awesome crazy that is E3. It seemed like a magical place where all of your 'haven't been released yet' dreams come true... also I heard there were nachos. So you can imagine that when I took over the day to day operations of The Loading Bar, one of my goals was to get us into E3 so that we could take part in the aforementioned nacho insanity.
Thanks to you fine folks, Spill.com and The Loading Bar are popular enough that Jason and I were both able to obtain media credentials to attend E3 this year. Pat yourselves on the back! Now rub your stomach at the same time... harder than it looks, ain't it? But seriously, we don't get enough chances on the show to thank each and every one of you who love what we do and help us to keep this crazy train running. So thanks! I'd give you a hug, but this is the internet, so that's probably some kind of sex crime.
Now, I'm hearing the obvious question: you guys got E3 badges, so what's the problem? Go and tell us everything about everything, that we may have the special knowledges too. Welp, that's where things get a bit tricky. Unfortunately, neither Jason nor myself have the cold hard cash necessary to make the holy pilgrimage to the City of Angels. As such, we decided to put the power in your hands. Do ya'll want us to go to E3? If the answer is an enthusiastic "HELL YES", it's time to vote with your dollars.
You see, we would never expect you fine listeners to give us something for nothing, so here's what we're proposing. This Saturday, March 23rd at 6:00 PM CST, we're going to be having a 12-hour LIVE HAPPY HOUR implosion! Implosion? Explosion? EXPLOSION! Yes, true believers, this weekend we are attempting the motherload of all live streams! Will there be guests? You bet your ass! Will there be prizes? Duhhh! Will we be playing games for 12 hours straight? PAY MORE ATTENTION! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!
So what constitutes a guest? Well son, check it. We've got:
In the words of George Takei... oh my!
Now how much would pay? But wait! There's still more! Act now and you could win one of our fabulous prizes! Yes, for every $10 that you chip in, we'll throw your name in the hat and at the end of the night we'll be giving away faaaaabulous prizes! What sort of prizes you ask? Well, you'll just have to tune in to find out! However, I will say that the grand prize is a framed picture of you... yes, YOU... sitting in the Loading Bar with the rest of us bartenders, drawn by Korey in our signature 16-bit style. It gets pretty complex after that, with me going onto the game grid and everything, but at the end of the day you'll end up with your very own framed copy of you IN THE LOADING BAR! You'll get your money for nothing and you chicks for free!*
Once again for those of you who have just been speed reading, let's hit the particulars:
I've always said that we here at The Loading Bar will bow to the will of the people. If you guys want us to make this show about all the different macaronis of the world, I'll bust out the cheesy sauce. But this time, ya'll get to vote with your dollars. Our goal is $1,500 (US). That should cover airfair and accommodations for Jason and I in LA for the week of the big show in June. In all seriousness, this one is in your hands. Help us take our show to the next level! We believe that ya'll want this as much as we do, so now's the time to show us just how much!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get this new macaroni podcast going. Let's see, there's elbow... and... errrr. FUCK!
UPDATE: Sooo... it would appear that in my haste I forgot to clarify: we're going to be accepting donations via Paypal. We considered Kickstarter briefly, but Kickstarter seems to want you to have a "product" that people get in exchange for their donations. I didn't want to have to tell someone that "talking about dicks IS THE PRODUCT." So Paypal it is. Second, the whole goal of this monkey house is to give you guys some exclusive content in exchange for your donations, so we weren't originally planning to release this stream as an archive, but how about this? If we meet or exceed our donation goal, we will post the videos later for your viewing enjoyment.
UPDATE: Donations are now closed. Thank you so much to everyone who donated!
*You will get neither of these things, sorry bro.
**Don't actually ask him, internet magicians never reveal their secrets.