If it's crap ... We'll tell you
It's a very special bonus edition of TATM:
This past weekend, the summer movie season started off with not just a bang but a massacre as The Avengers grossed $200 million in just one weekend, a very rare feat.
But does this mean that we are in for possibly the biggest summer in years or is this just a coincedence?
I'm going to do something that I've never done before. I'm going to predict where some of this summer's movies will be placed and I'm going to do this through seven different categories I've come up with.
So, without further ado, let's get right to it starting off with...
STAR OF THE SUMMER
Three choices come to my mind at first. Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, & Channing Tatum.
Hemsworth and Renner come to mind because both of them are coming off The Avengers, which is without any doubt a big hit, and they've both got other summer movies coming out this year. Hemsworth's got Snow White & The Huntsman on June 1st and Renner's got The Bourne Legacy on August 3rd. I think that the fact that The Avengers broke so many records and that both Hemsworth and Renner got a lot of good word of mouth for that film, that'll help both of those films do better than expected from its' distributor, Universal Pictures.
I also put Channing Tatum on this list because he's got two movies opening on the same day, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Magic Mike on June 29th. Tatum's already had success appealing to both audiences this year with The Vow and 21 Jump Street and the fact that he's got those audiences hooked, I think he's going to be very successful this year, especially considering that Magic Mike is being speculated as a surprise hit this year while I think that...well, we'll get to that later.
THE SURPRISE HIT
This one's going to Hope Springs with Tommy Lee Jones, Meryl Streep, & Steve Carell. Jones & Streep play a married couple who are having relationship problems and decide to visit with a professional therapist (Carell) to solve their problems.
The director is David Frankel, who directed both The Devil Wears Prada and Marley And Me and also The Big Year (which was a bomb but I really enjoyed that film), and the film is being placed in the same placement that made The Help a huge hit last year and this film kind of has the same feeling that The Help had.
The film itself looks really good and I'm very curious about how Steve Carell will play this role because he's not acting in a comedic role, he's going for a more dramatic type of role. And it'll be interesting to see if he can pull it off.
Some other movies that could be sleeper hits may include another Steve Carell starrer, Seeking A Friend At The End Of The World, People Like Us directed by one of the writers of Star Trek, Ted with Seth MacFarlene, and Sparkle, the last film starring Whitney Houston.
THE WORST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER (in my opinion)
Several choices come to mind but my two biggest ones that I'm looking forward to the least are, ironically enough, opening on the same day.
May 18th, Battleship and What To Expect When You're Expecting. Both of these movies just look horrible. Battleship looks way too much like a bad mix between Star Trek and Transformers. There's nothing here that I haven't seen done before and I know that I'm already not looking forward to this.
And Taylor Kitsch, you need to hire a better agent. X-Men Origins: Wolverine, John Carter, and now this, you need to pick better scripts than this.
And the other was What To Expect When You're Expecting, which just looks terrible on all levels. Say what you will about the ensemble romantic comedies that Garry Marshall directs, but at least they have a purpose and sometimes funny jokes. Here, there is not one thing I found funny in any trailer for this at all.
It seems like they are just throwing big celebrities at us and they are just going to show us shit that we've seen done before.
With a relationship book like He's Just Not That Into You, you can see how that could work into a movie and for the most part, that did. You can't make a good romantic comedy about the book, What To Expect When You're Expecting.
I'm still surprised they haven't made a movie based off of Chicken Soup For The Soul, that would at least been more creative than a movie based off of What To Expect When You're Expecting.
Some other movies that may make worst of the summer territory include Chernobyl Diaries, That's My Boy, Savages, Step Up Revolution, & Total Recall.
THE BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER (in my opinion)
Even though The Avengers is already a strong contender for this one, I'm still hoping that The Dark Knight Rises will take that spot.
There's nothing that I've seen from Dark Knight that gives me any idea that the film will be shitty but I'm just hoping that the film will be as good as The Dark Knight, I'm not expecting them to exceed past that film, if they do, I will be pleasantly surprised.
Nothing else that's coming out this summer is looking like it will top all other films this summer other than The Dark Knight Rises or The Avengers.
Basically, the movie that performs okay but not to the expectations of the studios.
I think that's going to The Amazing Spider-Man because there isn't anybody really talking about it, it's opening on a great date to open on, 4th of July weekend but it's opening two weeks before Dark Knight does.
As good as the movie might be, I've got a suspicion it won't be the massive hit that Sony may be looking for.
Some other movies that may disappoint might include Men In Black 3, Dark Shadows, Madagascar 3, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Ice Age 4, & Total Recall.
THE BIGGEST BOMB
Two movies come to mind here.
Dark Shadows, especially now that The Avengers is the big hit it is, I really don't think this movie will be a big hit.
Add in the fact that people are getting sick and tired of the constant Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaborations and that they've just started the marketing campaign a month before the movie is set to be released, I really think this is going to be one of the bigger bombs of the year.
The other one is Savages, the new Oliver Stone film. And I'm only judging this by the trailer, nothing about the trailer convinces me that this will be good. A lot of what's in the trailer is stuff we've seen done before plus I can't buy Salma Hayek as the leader of a drug smuggling ring.
Again, I'm just going by the trailer. Also add in the fact that the movie is going out on July 6th and not before the 4th of July weekend, that's already a strike against the film and I think Universal knows that this won't be the big hit.
Battleship is another one that I'm sure will bomb but I've already gone off on that.
And now, the big one...
THE BIGGEST HIT OF THE SUMMER
Avengers pretty much set that bar early on with its' $200 million opening weekend, so that's putting a lot of pressure on all of the summer movies, especially Dark Knight Rises.
Not to say that Dark Knight Rises won't be a hit, if hell freezes over on July 20th, then it won't be a hit. And since that's very unlikely to happen, the film should have no trouble being a big hit.
However, it'll be a problem trying to match that $200 million weekend The Avengers had but not impossible. The Dark Knight Rises is opening two months after The Avengers, and by that point, The Avengers should be out of the top 10.
So, there's a very good chance that The Dark Knight Rises can repeat what The Avengers did. And that's going to lead into a very close race for the #1 spot and I think that The Avengers is going to have the slight win.