If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Star Wars Episode 1:The Phantom Menace is the biggest clusterfuck of a movie I have ever seen. First, before I tear this shitty movie to shreads, lets talk about the positives... it was 2 hours long, and not 3. Yep, thats about it. The effects aren't that impressive, and to be honest, the look so fake to me. Some on the animations look so bad, I mean come on George! This incoherent mess of a script takes place decades before the events of the original Star Wars (Bear with me here), a corporation called the Trade Federation has blockaded the peaceful planet of Naboo(Stupid name right there)in protest to a tax on trade routes(?) Two jedi knights , Qui-Gon-Gin(Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi(Ewan McGregor) are dispatched to resolve the situation before it gets out of control. If you think that sounds stupid, that's because it is. There are so many plotholes it makes you wonder if anyone proofread this shit, and the characters make so many stupid decisions. Now I'm going to answer to compliments that this film gets from Star Wars fanboys that cannot handle any critcism of their beloved Star Wars and will go off on anyone that disagrees with them, most likely jerk off to pictures of whatever the fuck Natalie Portman's character was, and can't seem to accept how bad the first two Star Wars prequels are.
#1.This film is for kids, not for adults
If this piece of shit film is indeed for kids, what's the deal with all the lame ass political dialouge? I guarantee you, take a kid to see this movie, by the time the Coruscant scene pops up they will be asleep.
#2.The action looks really cool
The effects aren't really bad, but I've seen much better. And the action is incredibly boring due to the fact that the characters are so unlikeable that you don't care if they live or die. It adds nothing to the plot or characters. It looks to clean, like its a cutscene from a damn video game!
#3.Jar Jar Binks is not as racist as people think
Now I'm going to talk about the number 1 reason that this movie sucks, the racial stereotype that is Jar Jar Binks. He is so damn annoying, and if I was black or from the south, I would be mad as hell. He talks in an accent that's a mockery of these two. This lothesome c*nt does not belong in a Star Wars film. Star wars characters are supposed to be likeable and memorible, not fake-ass pricks that take up screentime.
To sum this all up, Star Wars:Episode I-The Phantom Menace is one of the worst films I have seen in my life, and I've seen quite a few. This film is a fuck you to the fans of old school Star Wars, a fuck you to film critics, a fuck you to kids, and a fuck you to humanity in general from George Lucas. This film is an abomination that never happened, avoid it at all cost!