If it's crap ... We'll tell you
As you've likely noticed, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been rededicating himself to his film career now that his political tenure is complete. He was given a bigger part in 'The Expendables 2,' headlined Jee-woon Kim's 'The Last Stand,' and has a number of projects in development. It seems we can now add one more to that ever-growing list of upcoming projects, and this one is a real head-scratcher. Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in Steve Pink's ('Hot Tub Time Machine') remake of 'The Toxic Avenger.' The original 1984 film was a product of the bargain-basement film studio Troma Entertainment. It centered on an oft-bullied janitor who falls into a vat of toxic waste and becomes a savage super(anti)hero. Schwarzenegger reportedly will not be playing Toxie, as he is affectionately known, but instead a different male lead. The movie will be pitched at the Cannes film market.
This is truly baffling for more reasons than I can count. First and foremost, why on Bob's green Earth are they remaking 'The Toxic Avenger?' That question comes not of reverence; in fact just the opposite. The movie was a total flop when it was released in theaters, and was only kept alive by its home video cult following. It spawned several sequels, all of which were also underground oddities, as well as a musical and a cartoon series. I can't understand how anyone thinks a nearly thirty-year old cult film warrants a remake. Not only that, but the entire "charm" of the original movie was precisely its bankrupt aesthetics. If it's re-imagined as a slick, contemporary sci-fi actioner, you've lost the one element that has garnered the property its cult appeal. Now, as to Arnold Schwarzenegger, I'm not sure who he would be playing, but I can almost guarantee you that he's attached only to try and ensure financing now that the remake is going to the Cannes market for pitching, which is the exact wrong reason to bring any actor aboard. I liked Pink's 'Hot Tub Time Machine' just fine, but as someone who loathes Troma, I couldn't give a slimy crap about this remake.
What do you guys think? Would you go see a 'Toxic Avenger' remake? Does Schwarzenegger's involvement affect your enthusiasm at all?