If it's crap ... We'll tell you
"WFT? I SEND U A FAECBOOK FREIND REQUEST Y U IGNOR ITS??"
I get that exact message multiple times every week from people deeply and personally affected by my unwillingness to add them as a 'friend' on Facebook. Sometimes they push a little bit more when not responded to:
"I M UR FAN. Y U TREETS FAN LIEK THAT??/"
Compelling argument, Yoo-Hoo mouth. You see, my friends on my Facebook account are all people I have face to face relationships with, not random 13-year-olds who like hearing me say 'cunt' on the interwebs. Not that I have anything against any of those random fans, I mean, I love you all like the unique and beautiful snowflakes your parents convinced you you are... I just don't know them enough to call them 'friends.'
After careful consideration, and countless bribes of tit pics and booze, I've launched my Facebook fan page:
Join it. I'll say cunt on it from time to time.
Also on twitter at: