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New Releases with Cyrus: "Robin Hood", "Ondine", & "The Legend of Bruce Lee"
THE LEGEND OF BRUCE LEE (DVD)
No, this isn’t that long awaited biopic about the Kung-Fu legend that you somehow missed in the theaters. We’re all still waiting on that. No, this is an overwrought, soap opera mixed with the worst of 80’s Chinese martial arts films, done as a television series that perhaps was watchable in its original 50 episode long version, but this 3 hour condensed movie is unwatchably bad. I’ll hand it to Stephen Chow mainstay actor Danny Chan that he makes for a half-way decent Bruce Lee imitator (and there have been MANY over the years) and big names like Mark Dacascos, Ray Park, and Michael Jai White show up at points playing other martial artists, so the actual Kung-Fu is certainly good, if not terribly well edited together. If only there wasn’t the never-ending super-dramatic music that's so overdone that it feels like it comes from a satire of soap operas. It’s that over the top. Just as bad is the dialogue, which I can only hope is a mistranslation from the Chinese, because otherwise, it appears to have been written by a mentally retarded ten year old. I'm not exaggerating there at all. Seriously. Unless you’re really, REALLY, REALLLLLLY into Bruce Lee, I’d skip this. Even then, prepare yourself for a completely mythologized version of his story. This has more in common with a comic (and not in a good way) than with a biography.
--CLICK HERE TO BUY Legend of Bruce Lee (2008)
ONDINE (Blu-Ray and DVD)
Director Neil Jordan has always been rather unpredictable as to what types and qualities of projects that he takes on. From the award winning “The Crying Game” to the surprisingly watchable “Interview with the Vampire” to the completely unfunny “We’re No Angels”, it’s a crap shoot when it comes to any given Jordan project. Fortunately, his newest film, “Ondine” falls on the positive end of the spectrum...at least, as far as I could tell. Thanks a whole lot (<sarcasm>) Miramax for not including English subtitles on a movie about provincial Irish folk (although if you speak Spanish, you're in luck). I think I missed every third word or so, but, the plot is a relatively familiar seeming fairy tale, of sorts, and it’s a relatively easy task to parse it out anyway. Colin Farrell plays a fisherman who pulls up an unconscious woman in his net named Ondine (Alicja Bachleda) who he saves with CPR. She’s reluctant to encounter anyone but Farrell and hides out at his small home while Farrell’s daughter Annie (Alison Barry) becomes convinced the woman is a selkie, a mythological mermaid-ish creature. All reason aside, Farrell’s not so sure about it himself after awhile. It’s not long before a villain comes along, of course, but is he the dark selkie husband of the stories or something all too real and much worse? “Ondine” succeeds largely because of the absofrakkinglutely hauntingly beautiful cinematography of Ireland, the ethereal music, and likable characters. It’s a charming affair for those who like their fantasy allegorical and more grounded in reality.
--CLICK HERE TO BUY Ondine [Blu-ray]
ROBIN HOOD (Blu-Ray/DVD)
I must refer you all back to Leon’s oft-repeated query, “What film was a good prequel?” There seems to be some confusion about that as folks try to name “Star Trek” (alternate universe and time travel that ties in from the end of the current time line) “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly” (even director Sergio Leone says it’s not a prequel), “The Godfather Part II” (using flashbacks does not a prequel make) and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (only a prequel by happenstance as nothing in it requires it to have taken place before “Raiders”). Ridley Scott’s “Robin Hood” won’t go on the non-existent good prequel list for either Leon or I either, as it was about the most boring re-envisioning of the Hood character anyone could have come up with. I think the only way I could have liked a Robin Hood adaptation less if it starred Snoop Dogg and was called "Robbin' Doggs in the Hood". Russell Crowe plays Robin in his early days in that ‘hood, meeting his crew, and battling the diabolical French and their paid agents who are trying to overthrow the British crown and start a civil war. Everybody all covered in grime does not a realistic adaptation make, especially when even casual history buffs were calling this one out on numerous mistakes. And goddammit, Mark Strong AGAIN as the bad guy? Can somebody make this guy take his vacation time please? I know there were still some folks who really dug this cluttered and joyless mess of a story, but I'll be damned if I know why.
--CLICK HERE TO BUY Robin Hood: Unrated Director's Cut (Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Comment
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Comment by killuminati976 on September 29, 2010 at 2:50am -
Thanks for the review Cyrus on The Legend of Bruce Lee. I'm a huge Bruce Lee fan, but I aint gonna buy this crap. I'll stick to the books, and real films with Bruce, also can't wait to see what they do on the upcoming bio film on Bruce. Dragon didn't do it for me, just felt they didn't go deep enough on Bruce like they should've.
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Comment by Cyrus on September 27, 2010 at 3:39pm
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Dammit, Guitaro Man, it does. The game is up.
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Comment by Guitaro Man on September 27, 2010 at 9:50am -
Does Infernal Affairs II count as a good prequel?
Anyway, nice reviews, Cyrus! I never saw Robin Hood mainly for lack of interest and the initial bad word of mouth.
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Comment by Travis Pickle on September 26, 2010 at 12:36pm -
I enjoyed Robin Hood and don't really know why lol
My main problems were the pointless lostboys, and for it to be a prequel type set up it really needed younger stars because by the time Cate and Russel got to the end/start of the Legend they're both about 50! LMAO but I wasn't bored by any of it, it looked great and Max Von Sydow and William Hurt were good too and I watched the extended blue-ray til 2 in the morning!!
Have to say I rented it thinking it was going to an almighty struggle to stay awake because SPILL absolutely trashed it but I could watch it again!?
;)
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Comment by Kieran McKiel on September 25, 2010 at 7:19pm -
The only one of these that I've checked out was Ondine, which I rented and watched this weekend. Being the folklore buff that I am, with the selkie legend being one of my favorite subjects, I was actually digging the hell out of it as a more realistic adaptation of the myth until the third act twist, which ALMOST ruined the movie for me. Not quite, since it was actually kind of a clever twist now that I think about it, but almost. It just felt like a major cop out to me. Still, though, it's a decent movie worth checking out.
Also, I have taken a vow to avoid ever sitting through Robin Hood. As aforementioned, I'm all for a realistic re-envisioning of old myths and legends, but if it's as cluttered and joyless as all my favorite critics say, I don't have 3 hours to waste on it.
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Comment by David on September 25, 2010 at 1:46am -
I liked Robin Hood. Won't bother explaining why, since there's no point trying to convince anyone if their opinion is otherwise. But I liked it, despite a few dumb things (primarily Cate Blanchet toward the end of the movie...what the fuck was she doing on the beach?).
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Comment by Mario on September 24, 2010 at 10:10pm -
Why does Miramax treats their International films like shit? Is Miramax still going?
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Comment by CHEEZYSPAM on September 24, 2010 at 11:04am -
@Chucky G, thanks for that review on the director's cut. I was curious as well how it differed.
I haven't seen this movie and I've heard all the negativity surrounding it... and I know I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but I still want to see it.
I really dig the epic-in-scope movies like Bravehart, Gladiator & Kingdom of Heaven... and considering that 2 of those mentioned are Ridley's films I want to like it! I suppose if I get the whole "ROBIN HOOD" aspect out of my mind and know that's not what this is really about than maybe I'll enjoy it a little more.
Wasn't there some story surrounding the conception of this film? Like Scott and Crowe came together with a great prequel idea and then somewhere in the middle of production the studio or somebody decided to take a completely different approach? Some how the movie they intended to make became something else entirely?
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Comment by Giant Boy Detective on September 24, 2010 at 10:33am -
any idea if the director's cut is better, like Kingdom of Heaven?
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