If it's crap ... We'll tell you
The game of the year 2009 for just about every magazine, website and any other videogame hosting medium I can't think of, it's just purely badass. You play as Nathan Drake, the love child of Lara Croft and Indiana Jones. Well, at least that's how I see it. You're a sarcastic treasure-hunting asshole with a taste for exotic women, adrenaline-pumping adventure and... well, treasure. This game has you off to find Marco Polo's lost fleet and all the gold they were carrying. There's a fairly generic villain in the way, but the story, gameplay, humor and AMAZING graphics more than make up for it. This game is just such an engrossing experience, with the most engaging story and cutscenes I think I've ever seen. Buy it. Now.
Yes, that is Spider-man punching a bald, electrocuted, shirtless man. Now I know you're thinking right about now that this list is bullshit, this game sucked, you could tell by all the bad reviews it got. But did you ever actually pick it up and play it with a buddy? So fucking addicting. It's a 3D fighter (interesting, right?) where you can pick from a handful of Marvel classics and new characters created specifically for the game. Now true, most of them are retarded, but there are 3 that are pretty freakin' cool. Again, another game with a barebones plot, but what did you expect from a fighting game?
7. Batman: Arkham Asylum
Perhaps the best game of 2009 was a Batman game. That fact, right there, is mind-blowing. Up until this game, there was not a single good Batman game on the market. You play as (you guessed it) the caped crusader himself, The B-man, trapped in Arkham for a night of hell. The Joker has pulled a reverse beartrap on Batman and trapped him in the one place that he never thought he'd be confined to: Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. The best thing about this game (other than the engaging and dark story written by none other than Paul Dini) is that it makes you, in Korey's words, "Feel like fuckin' Batman!". You crawl through grates, swing from gargoyles, knock out useless guards and thwart the Joker's evil plan yet again. Too bad the final boss sucks.
... Sorry for the huge picture. But hey, it's the size of Portal's awesomeness. It's a first-person shooter with no shooting, only portal-ing. You play as the newest test subject in a robot's reign of scientific terror, putting random people through trials (SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER), taunting them with (imaginary or otherwise) delicious and moist cake and then killing them. (SPOILERENDSPOILEREND) This game is undeniably one of the funniest I've ever played, GLaDOS' banter being the highlight. It's a short ride, but fuck, it's a good one. Oh, and: The cake is a lie.
5. The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape On Dark Athena
Riddick's back and kicking tons of drone ass! This game picks up where the original game (Escape from Butcher Bay) ends, with Riddick floating through space in an empty ship with your semi-pal John in cryosleep. Turns out, your ship is taken over and boarded by another (MUCH LARGER) ship right after the credits of the original game roll. This is a slaver ship, turning any ship crew they can find into mindless drones, but Riddick won't take this lying down. He'll have to stealth kill a lot of bitches to get out of this pickle, and this game prevails in every way a stealth game should. Sure, it dwindles a bit in the 2nd half, but it's still a beautifully executed piece of entertainment. Oh, and did I mention that this game comes with Butcher Bay (completely remastered) on the same disk? Groovy.
4. Banjo Tooie
Didn't see this coming, did you? Yup, one of my favorite games of all time, released just when this list begins, in 2000. This game is the best the platformer genre has to offer, with plenty of jumping, running, swimming and punching. I... actually don't remember much of the story, other than that your friend was killed by the evil witch, but who gives a rat's ass? You're here to jump on shit and have a good time with all the new features introduced into the series, like shapeshifting and playing as Kazooie. Oh, and fuck Nuts N' Bolts.
Hm, I guess people actually DO want realism in their skating games. This series took off like the Roadrunner when this game hit shelves, and in the process totally killed the Tony Hawk series. There is virtually NO story (I'm starting to see a trend here...), but the fun factor is through the roof and around the corner... which would be more of the sky. You use the right joystick to control your board tricks, which I originally thought was a stupid idea, but it worked beautifully. There's nothing more satisfying than landing a tre flip onto a rail after trying for 10 minutes.
2. Jak 3
Thank god for Naughty Dog. This is their 2nd game on my list, and definitely one of my favorites of all time. This game has everything: Story, engaging gameplay, hilarious characters, cool guns and DUNE BUGGIES. Oh, and Jak isn't a little emo bitch anymore! He's a stone-cold badass in this game and kicks ass in every way, shape and form. I can't really reveal much about the story without spoiling the other 2 games, so I'll just let you go out and buy this game.
1.Timesplitters 3: Future Perfect
Yup, this is it. My favorite game of the decade. Time-fucking-splitters. You play as Cortez, time traveling extraordinare, traveling to different decades and centuries to kill Jacob Crow, the man responsible for your time period's world being the way it is. Destroyed. The story is motherfucking hilarious, and makes up for shortcomings with the jokes it keeps pumping out. Oh, and the multiplayer. The beautiful multiplayer. A full map editor, over 100 playable characters including a monkey, zombies, strippers and evil cow carcasses, dozens of creative and sometimes brutal guns, and a drive-able robot cat that does virtually nothing other than makes you laugh. Need I say more? Buy this game! It's cheap and tons of fun.