If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Skip to a few months/weeks (don’t remember) later: me and my friends are now carpooling to the early screening of Fantastic Mr Fox. We are excited, and for good reason, it’s cussing Fantastic Mr Fox! The only issue was that it was being screened in San Diego, which is almost a two hour drive. We decided to get there an hour early so that we wouldn’t miss it again. Though, we should have left two days in advance, because as soon as we got to the ticket collector they had already overbooked this theater as well. As a way of saying sorry, they gave us free tickets to see New Moon.
I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!
Now let that sink in for a bit. Two hour drive to see Fantastic Mr Fox. Two hours inside a Honda Civic crammed with one too many college students, one of which has a gas issue that only he found hilarious. I guess we felt some entitlement to see Fantastic Mr Fox, even if it was undeserved, but for them to tell us that either we watch New Moon or go home was just too much. That takes some cajones to pull a bait and switch that elaborate. Out of respect for the theater’s pure unadultered level of insidiousness we watched New Moon.
To review that movie in a nutshell: Funny as shit. I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun at a movie theater. The entire time we riffed on the film, we laughed at the awkward stilted dialogue, mocked the melodramatic relationship that really has no foundation, and guffawed at the overbearing soundtrack that
sounded as if Stephanie Myers left her Ipod on shuffle. It was a pretty terrible movie. Perfect fodder for a group of teens that watch MST3K religiously every weekend, and sometimes even have parties dedicated to one particularly bad Director.
Pictured: A somewhat relieved, possibly happy sloth
What was at first the worst experience of my life turned out to be the most enjoyable one, and I hope that it happens again someday. Hopefully when teenage girls find some other mythological creature to obsess
I really hope it’s Nessie. Its about time she gets a decent film treatment.