If it's crap ... We'll tell you
So you remember how they were making a movie out of that board game your little sister used to play during her slumber parties? Remember how thrilled we were back in August when it looked like that ill-advised project fell apart? Well prepare to despair because it looks like not only is the Ouija movie back on, it's got itself an official, if vague, release date. Despite the fact that the partnership between Hasbro and Universal looked to be totally kaput after they'd parceled projects like 'Stretch Armstrong' and 'Candyland' off to other studios, Universal has decided to renew their commitment to making the Ouija movie with original Platinum Dunes producers Michael Bay, Brad Fuller, and Andrew Form back on board. In addition they've added Jason Blum ('Paranormal Activity,' 'Insidious') to the producing mix. Though no writer nor director has been signed, rumor has it that 'Ouija' will be a found footage film and cost around $5 million. It is set for release in 2013.
So not only did we not sidestep the 'Ouija' landmine, but now it looks like it's going to be another found footage movie? Granted, that is just a rumor, but given the fact that Jason Blum produced 'Paranormal Activity' and is renowned for turning in high concept films on shoestring budgets, I think there is some definite merit to that supposition. Will we then be getting a 90-minute movie about that one particular scare in 'PA?' Unfortunately, even if it's told as a traditional narrative, I'm just not seeing how they are going to do anything fresh with such a creatively flaccid source. In addition to the fact that Ouija boards are about as culturally relevant anymore as Rubik's Cubes and Tab cola, there have been numerous horror movies made centering on Ouija boards in some incarnation or another that I feel like any approach would just seem like white noise. I mean come on, Universal, if we wanted to watch a bad Ouija board horror movie we could just pick up a VHS copy of 1985's 'The Oracle' or 1988's 'Don't Panic.' What? People haven't seen those films? Just me? Fair enough. I know we can't judge a book by its cover, but I'm just drawing a complete blank on how this could possibly work and I think Universal should have just let this one die the first time they killed it.
What do you guys think? Any ideas on how they could make a Ouija movie interesting? Does anyone out there still have a Ouija board?