Halloween II 0 Stars out of **** Spill Rating: F*** YOU!

I feel betrayed right now. Rob Zombie's Halloween may not have been very good but I defended it against the fan boys of the franchise. I didn't care that they changed the backstory or made Michael Myers a towering behemoth, I was just happy Zombie tried something new instead of just copying the original Halloween like Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake. Like everyone else, I think Zombie mishandled Michael's origins. Instead of trying to make him look more human, he just came off as an annoying emo kid. (Although the actor playing him was great) We all thought Zombie had finished with the backstory and now could unleash Michael Myers as the slasher we all know him by.

We were wrong. Dead wrong. Halloween II destroys the character of Michael Myers. Forget part 6, making Michael the pawn of some evil cult. Forget part 8, having Busta Rhymes beating him up while shouting, "Trick or Treat,
Motherfucker!" What Rob Zombie has done with this movie is nothing less than genocide against loyal audiences of the franchise. This movie has so many flaws, this review is just going to be a giant list of them.

1. Michael Myers now has visions of his mother with a white horse telling him to kill. He has these visions throughout the movie. Its not only hilarious, its one of the worst ideas ever put to film.
2. They recast the young Michael Myers with one of the worst child actors I've ever seen.
3. Every character in film is unlikable or redneck trash. The paramedics who transport Michael away in the beginning talk about having sex with one of the dead girls who then promptly crash the ambulance into a cow. That is not a misprint.
4. Dr. Loomis is now an egotistical asshole who is profiting off the deaths of the first film. He has no place in the film at all until the very end of the film and even then he's completely wasted. In the first film, he was the hero of the film, now he's more evil than Michael.
5. After killing the ambulance driver, Michael goes into the woods for a year, living off whatever wildlife comes his way. He also looks like Grizzly Adams and decides to go kill some people in a strip club. Once again, this is not a misprint.
6. Laurie is now an unlikable bitch, who never shuts up and now is a druggie/slut. This is the hero of our film? The only likable character now is Sheriff Bracket and Annie.
7. The first 20 minutes of the scene turn out to be dream. I don't mind a short dream sequence but a 20 minute dream sequence is ridiculous. Most of the film is shot in a dream-like tone so I could never tell if Laurie was dreaming or not.
8. The film's main vocabulary if Fuck! They said it so many times, it got unbearable.
9. Laurie shares the same vision as Michael which makes no sense and is never explained.
10. Going back to my first point, the visions that Michael has are shot like a wannabe David Lynch and Sheri Moon Zombie's god-awful acting doesn't help much.
11. The ending of the film is awful. Lets just say there is now way they could make Halloween 3 out of it.


Its hard to put to words the awfulness of this film. I haven't felt this angry since Disaster Movie or Max Payne. Rob Zombie has talent. Devil's Rejects was a great film and Halloween had some great moments. He just needs a scriptwriter and someone who has some balls to tell him no. Please tell me your thoughts on the film. i would like to know your opinions.