If it's crap ... We'll tell you
As I get older (and older, and OLDER...this was never part of the deal) I find myself identifying with and adoring more characters like Michael Caine's Harry Brown, in this 2009 British film, directed by Daniel Barber. These kids today....I get why you'd want to shoot a few. That's exactly what he gets up to, as an ex (way-ex) Royal Marine who tries to ignore the violence and obnoxious youths in his run-down neighborhood, but reaches his breaking point when they murder his best friend (David Bradley, who you'll likely recognize as Filch from the Harry Potter movies...you damn kids). Funny how all that military training can kick right the fuck back in when there are some no-good punks to ventilate. "Harry Brown" is "Death Wish" meets "The Equalizer" dwelling in the dingiest corners of a practically post-apocalyptic South London filled with near-psychotic street trash. It's the darkest version yet of this sort of revenge story and you're not gonna hear me complaining. Only an unnecessary bit of CG blood at the end swayed me from completely loving from what is otherwise one of the best pieces of wrath cinema to come along in some time. And if you don't like it, you kids get can get the hell out of my yard, before I shoot you full of rock salt.
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Gorram, these medical shows never die (which I suppose is ironic). This one's success hinged completely on Hugh Laurie's portrayal of the titular asshole who also is, lucky for him, a genius diagnostic doctor. Lucky because, regardless of his Sherlock Holmesian level of brilliance and quantity of personality quirks, without him being as essential as he is, even Gandhi would have punched him in the face. Probably would have anyway. Love or hate the show in the long run, it's hard not to get drawn into its concept for a few episodes...at least until it becomes clear that they're all pretty darn similar. At least where I left off, somewhere in the middle of season two. That hasn't stopped its legions of fans from tuning in every week though, clearly. Even the mysterious decision to axe the original supporting cast of doctors at the end of season three and replace them with a new team, didn't do much to hurt it, although in this latest season six, one of them (Jesse Spencer) rejoins the fold. This season had repeat appearances by Michael Weston, Cynthia Watros (Libby on 'Lost'), and the great Andre Braugher as a therapist with the unenviable task of healing House's conflicts with...well...pretty much everything and everybody. Imagine being forced to talk out the problems with the most irritating and nefariously intelligent jackass you know. Yeah. Time to change professions, stat.
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MADE FOR EACH OTHER (DVD)
As tempted as I am to somehow find a way to blame Scientology for this mess of a comedy that practitioners of the faith Danny and Christopher Masterson and Bijou Phillips star in, I think the real problem is considerably more mundane. It's merely that these folks wanted to work on a project together and this outrageously, almost unbelievably crappy project was all they could get. I want to believe that the bulk of the finances went to pay for the appearance of Patrick Warburton, but the truth of the matter, sad as it is, is that not everyone understands how awesome this guy really is, and an actor's gotta act. Even Shakespeare had to get PAID, son. There's no Shakespeare to be found anywhere in this writing though. The odd universe these characters exist in, I suppose, is supposed to be the same sort of comic world that films like "Airplane" are in. That style of comedy, taken to a much raunchier level, is what "Made For Each Other" is more-or-less seeming to be aiming at, but it's a wide miss. Christopher plays a shmuck married to Bijou, who has NEVER given up the goods, and for some reason the entire town knows, daily asking poor Chris if he's gotten any yet. When he kind of accidentally cheats on her with her slutty sister (the much hotter, Lauren German) his loser friends convince him he needs to trick Bijou into cheating on him, so the playing field will be even before he confesses his own infidelity. Local touring actor Patrick Warburton (in a production of "Waterworld: The Musical"...yeah, it's that kind of movie) seems to fit the bill but Chris finds he's not sure he can let him go through with it. I'll be damned if I could make it through this whole movie. I thought I was gonna scream. Maybe it got spectacularly better after the hour mark when I couldn't take it anymore. I'm thinking probably not.
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