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Cyrus Feels A Bit Sick Even Thinking About Just Having Watched "Extreme Movie"
I have no one to blame but myself.
What did I think, that any film with the title “_______ Movie” even had the outside chance of being amusing at this point? I figured, hey, it’s got segments co-written by SNL peeps like Will Forte and Andy Samberg. It’s got a slightly higher class of cameo celebrities in it than these things usually do, with sequences featuring Michael Cera, Frankie Muniz, Matthew Lillard, and Jamie Kennedy. Most importantly of all, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer were nowhere near it. Some part of me remained optimistic for the spoof films of yore, back when Leslie Nielsen was a cop, Val Kilmer was a rock star and people knew who Robert Hays was. I was naïve. Terribly, terribly naïve and now another small chunk of my brain has melted away thanks to exposure to “Extreme Movie”, a collection of barely connected comedy sketches that actually rivals “Disaster Movie” in its complete lack of worth.
The writing/directing team of Adam Jay Epstein and Andrew Jacobson weren’t on my hit list until now but they should have been. This is the brain trust that delivered “The Comebacks” and “Not Another Teen Movie” and who got their start working as writers and consultants for the parody sequences from various MTV movie award shows. That would explain how they know a few minor ‘anxious to please’ celebrities who showed up for this travesty (even they should have known better than to give Andy Milonakis theatrical work though). Michael Cera can’t even be blamed as this has been sitting on the shelf since 2006. Which is too bad because I love finding chances to blame Michael Cera for things. What's he gonna do, come beat me up? HA ha hahahhaha.
I normally try to break down a plot synopsis around here in my reviews but there’s no point. What’s “Extreme Movie” about? Nothing. Imagine a group of sixth grade boys who grew up raised by a frat house writing and starring in a comedy film all about what they think sex and relationships are like. When the first scene in your movie involves a creepily adolescent Frankie Muniz having kinky sex not considered viable by anyone outside readers of “The Stile Project”, you’re going to have trouble keeping me from being physically ill, much less sitting through the rest of your film. The film is so across the board unamusing, unambitious and uninspired that I wish they could unmake it. Even the few boobs shots towards the end of the film (yeah, in a not rated sex ‘comedy’, hardly any boobs until the end. Who planned this thing, George Bush?) weren’t enough to stir me at either end.
Here’s why you might like “Extreme Movie”:
A: You cannot STOP laughing when some one farts. An autonomic laugh reaction. Oh wait, if this is you, you won’t know what the word autonomic means. Um, HEY LOOK, SHINY THING!!
B: You are between the ages of 6-10 years old.
C: You have a secret and sexy desire to see Abraham Lincoln have gay anal sex with a teenager, which by the way, you can insert yourself in place of the teenager here if you are that one person in the world with this fetish. I’m looking at you, Korey, keeper of all fetishes both disturbing and odd. (Oh great now I’m gonna get a ‘stop picking on Korey’ message from you-know-who).
If you don’t qualify for one of those three, then avoid this at all costs. I had a moment of hope near the end when they were doing a porno musical number, but it sucks like Celine Dion doing a medley of Barbara Streisand’s greatest hits (I'm sorry Mom, but that would totally suck. I love you anyway). This is was JUST done so much better in James Gunn’s PG Porn Series…
...there, now you don’t have a single reason to watch “Extreme Movie” ever. Don’t even look at it. It’s evil. It’ll melt you like you were a Nazi.
Click Here to Buy Extreme Movie
but don't say I didn't warn ya. Views: 26
Comment
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Comment by Guitaro Man on March 3, 2009 at 4:16pm -
Can I watch if an episode of MST3K made fun of it?
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Comment by BladeTheMetalHead on March 1, 2009 at 6:54pm -
Cyrus, I have no intention in seeing this wasted piece of trash. This movie has these ups:
1. Friedberg and Seltzer are no where to be seen. That's a good thing because that way we don't have them just watching the trailers.
2. It has an averagely good cast. I mean Friedberg and Seltzer's movies had some generally good cast choices, but that doesn't save it from how @$$ the movie is.
3. Its got some people who sort of know what they're doing. They're not bad directors, they're just people who aren't good at directing.
But, I can't take away the fact that it has the word movie in the title. We've had Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, DisASSter Movie (sorry I had to do that, I couldn't help it), Movie Movie, Genre Movie, Superhero Movie, Movie Movie Movie, etc. Its just the same thing again and again. I'm tired of it. At least it wasn't released in theaters. Friedberg and Seltzer, here's my message to you guys. Stick with DVD, don't torture us with them in cinemas. But, that's not the point.
I have no intention in seeing this movie at all. If someone loans me a copy of it, I'll turn it on for a few minutes. If it sucks I'll through it out the window and scream. Well, maybe I won't do that.I'll probably just give it back. I don't think it looks Disaster Movie bad, and it doesn't look Meet The Spartans bad. But, it looks about Date Movie or Epic Movie bad.
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Comment by Anthony Rodriguez on March 1, 2009 at 12:46pm -
Yes, it's Gass.
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Comment by NotTheWhosTommy on March 1, 2009 at 12:39pm -
I didn't hate "Teen Movie" that much.
BTW, is that Kyle Gass in that one picture? Poor Gass. :(
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Comment by Anthony Rodriguez on March 1, 2009 at 12:23pm
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Jesus, man. It wasn't that bad. There was no product placement, only one skit with farting in it, and the Michael Cera skit was actually pretty amusing (and, to a lesser extent, Blue Bally, Next Level, and the main plot). It was not great but a lot easier to watch than Seltzer-Friedberg abortions. The only things that were really unfunny and hard to watch were the Abe sex and bed-humping shit. Ehh... 4/10. Straight-to-video and rightfully so. Too bad it had to have "Movie" at the end of its title cuz it's getting a bad rap.
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Comment by James K. Polk on March 1, 2009 at 1:55am -
There's nothing wrong with a little obsession with U.S. Presidents.
Unless there's sex involved. Then it's creepy.
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Comment by Lord Galvatron on March 1, 2009 at 12:08am -
Oh lord so now what these movies are gonna be STV? It still looks like shit
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Comment by Chris on February 28, 2009 at 11:56pm -
Why is it called "Extreme Movie".. I mean whats "EXTREME" about it.
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Comment by THE Don THE SHO 'GUN OF SPILL on February 28, 2009 at 11:00pm -
only laughed at the blue balls puppet n the next level chick
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Comment by Josh on February 28, 2009 at 9:39pm -
let me guess the plot big boobs, hookers, 13 yearold dwarves with plastic hair, sex sex stupid gags about sex
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