
PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL “PUSH” BY SAPPHIREIs there anyone who hasn’t already joked about this film yet? It’s ironic the amount of humor that has circulated around it because it is
so very good and
so very dark. But come on, that unwieldy title? Don’t you just want to smack someone for titling it that? But the rest of the mirth, I believe, comes from not being able to absorb, not even ALLOWING yourself to absorb, how horrible some of the stuff that
Precious (
Gabourey Sidibe) has to go through. It's a defense mechanism we've got kicking into gear because it's impossible to see what
Precious goes through and be unaffected.
Even with the repeated abuse and impregnations she’s suffered at the sweaty hands of her own father, it’s her
Mom (
Mo’Nique) who takes the cake (and the pie, and the ham, and the...see, now I’m doing it!) She’s the latest addition to the long list of classic movie monsters right up there next to
Frankenstein and the
Wolfman. Truly horrible in every sense,
Monster Mom sexually abuses
Precious herself, beats her, throws her babies around...she’s on the verge of being implausibly evil but she hangs on the lip of that cliff and stays all too disturbingly convincing. It’s a jaw-dropping performance by
Mo’Nique albeit one that you’ll be questioning why exactly she got the Oscar for it until the ending...whoa, the ending.
Even though
“Precious” is so intensely dark, it’s watching the attitude of
Precious herself change as the first rays of sunlight enter the prison of her life that gives the film a theme of hope. And thank
FSM for that.
“Precious: blah blah blah” is a remarkable work and is certainly a
BUY.
Click Here to Buy
Precious: Based on the Novel

CLASH OF THE TITANSI’ve been promoting these
Warner Brothers Blu-Ray hardback re-releases pretty heavily. And why not? Gorgeous and convenient packaging, full color booklets, beautifully remastered versions of the films....well, up until now for that last part. You’d think with the new
“Clash of the Titans” having come out recently,
WB would have spent a little more time updating the 1981 film, starring
Harry Hamlin (seriously) as
Perseus,
Laurence Olivier as
Zeus and
Burgess Meredith as some annoying guy who keeps
Perseus from acting like too much of an idiot.
The premise is similar yet different from the
‘meh’ remake, this time with no
Hades at all. Instead, we’ve merely got a pissy goddess played by
Maggie Smith who calls the giant sea monster
Kraken over from an entirely different region's mythology to eat
Perseus’s hottie princess girlfriend in 30 days.
Zeus apparently has to abide by some set of God rules and can’t just smack
Smith in the back of the head and send her to her Goddess room without dinner. He can, however, closely monitor and ease the conflict with an array of
deux ex machinas to help
Perseus along in his quest to find a way to defeat the giant scaly beast. And believe it or not, I'm not gonna make a dick joke there.
While I’m not one to talk smack about the great (and I mean GREAT) stop motion animator
Ray Harryhausen, except for his animation work on the
Medusa here, this wasn’t one of the high points of his career.
“Clash of the Titans” is a relentlessly silly film that nostalgia for our childhoods has apparently elevated onto a pedestal. I'm going to be the one to say that this emperor wears no clothes. It’s got mediocre performances, a mish-mash of myth (say that 20 times fast) story, and it moves from one set piece to the next without much of a compelling story or characterizations. In other words, it’s not all that different from the remake. Still, that nostalgia can go a long way. I actually caught myself smiling at
Bubo, the mechanical owl (mysteriously named after the symptoms of the Bubonic Plague), who surely was the
Jar Jar Binks of his day. But, whatareyagonnado?
I can’t be too mad at WB for thoroughly screwing up the transfer. It’s like two different people did it, one who took their job seriously and one who merely transferred it from an old beat up videotape. Alternating scenes look HORRIBLE. Like, the worst blu-ray transfer ever. I’m gonna have to be harsh here and say the quality of the upgrade, a minimum of extras and the fact that it really wasn’t all that great a film to begin with (sorry), leads me to give this a more than generous
STREAM.
Click Here to Buy
Clash of the Titans (Blu-ray Book)
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