If it's crap ... We'll tell you
I wrote this last year when the trailer first came out, I hope you guys enjoy it.
It’s only a mild exaggeration to say that I want to cryogenically freeze myself until May 12 of next year so I don’t have to wait 8 agonizing months for the release of the Avengers. In other words, Captain America + Thor + Iron man + The Hulk = ZOMG! So excited! I’ve been beaming with anticipation for this movie ever since it was for announced that the aforementioned characters, Captain America, Thor, Iron man, and The Hulk, were not simply in a shared movie universe but that the movies were actually leading towards an ensemble film. *Gasp!* Each film has its own merit and was able to succeed in making me care about characters that I only had a passing interest in. Marvel Studios did such a good job that I was more excited for Thor than I was for the latest X-men movie and I’ve never picked up a Thor comic in my life.
Growing up reading comic books I’ve always been a sucker for crossovers and cameo’s of all sorts so a movie like Avengers is something that I’ve always wanted without even knowing that I’ve always wanted it. I honestly was never a big fan of the Avengers as a kid, I’ve always fancied myself more of an X-Men fan. I didn’t really give the Avengers any credence until I read Mark Millar’s Ultimates. The Ultimates is a “modern” adaption of the Avengers which takes place in an alternative universe divulging from the contemporary Marvel Universe. (Say what?) Look, what it is isn’t what’s important. What’s important is that it changed how I viewed not only the Avengers but Marvel comics in general. Now, I didn’t bring up the Ultimates for the sake of nostalgia or for a shameless plug but rather because I’m both assuming and hoping that the storyline draws from the Ultimates. In the Ultimates the first villain the Avengers fight is not a villain at all but the Hulk! Can you imagine Captain America, Iron Man and Thor all teaming up to fight the Hulk? I can and what I imagine it looking like is beautiful beyond words.
I really wish I could write this without divulging into something negative (HA! Like that’s going to happen) but there’s one big, green, fucking monstrosity that stabs at my heart. The Hulk? Well yes and no; Edward Norton more specifically. I absolutely loved the Incredible Hulk. It was a great movie and Edward Norton was excellent in it so seeing someone else take Edward Norton’s place as Bruce Banner is nothing less than infuriating. It’s bad enough that they’re replacing my absolute favorite actor but they’re replacing him with Mark Ruffalo of all people? What the fuck?! I don’t even know who Mark Ruffalo is! My hope is that he’ll spend most of movie in Hulk form so I can forget that he’s even in the film. Alas, perhaps I’m being too quick to judge him. Perhaps, I’m critiquing the acting chops of Mark Ruffalo too harshly. There’s no perhaps about it, fuck Mark Ruffalo! I’m so angry I could just…did Scarlett Johansson just do a hurricanrana?! I think she did! I suppose I could also complain about Black Widow not even being Russian, but I’m afraid I’m not psychically capable of complaining about something as captivating as Scarlett Johansson clad in black, jumping around and beating the hell out of people.