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Most PG-13 horror films: Suckvile
With "The Haunting of Molly Hartley" coming up and with the annoying PG-13 rating slapped on it, it's yet another one of these 'horror' films made only for the people who can't handle their R or NC-17 horror. Examples of PG-13 horror films that suck include:
One Missed Call (2008)
Shutter (2008).
Prom Night (2008).
Cry Wolf (2005).
The Grudge (2004).
The Grudge 2 (2006).
The Eye (2008).
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
The Ring Two (2005).
Boogyman (2005).
And so on and so forth.
But I bet you're wondering: "Why do they suck?" I'll tell you why!
A. No blood.
B. Cheap special effects.
C. No nudity.
D. Flat acting.
E. Cheap jump scares.
F. Preditcable scares (some of these you can see a mile a way!).
However, I'm not saying EVERY PG-13 or lower horror film sucks. Examples of great PG-13 horror films include Cloverfield, Signs, The Sixth Sense, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Ring, The Others and 1408. I'm sure there is more, but I can't remember anymore. To sum it all up, horror films need to go back to the wonderful world of R and Hollywood needs to pay attention to horror fans, not some idiot who gets scared too easily if even so much a fake ghost pops out and says "Boo" or money.
Well, might as well go back and enjoy my good ol' bloodfests!
Like this one:
And to quote Cryus during the review of One Missed Call "Fuck PG-13 horror!"
One Missed Call (2008)
Shutter (2008).
Prom Night (2008).
Cry Wolf (2005).
The Grudge (2004).
The Grudge 2 (2006).
The Eye (2008).
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
The Ring Two (2005).
Boogyman (2005).
And so on and so forth.
But I bet you're wondering: "Why do they suck?" I'll tell you why!
A. No blood.
B. Cheap special effects.
C. No nudity.
D. Flat acting.
E. Cheap jump scares.
F. Preditcable scares (some of these you can see a mile a way!).
However, I'm not saying EVERY PG-13 or lower horror film sucks. Examples of great PG-13 horror films include Cloverfield, Signs, The Sixth Sense, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Ring, The Others and 1408. I'm sure there is more, but I can't remember anymore. To sum it all up, horror films need to go back to the wonderful world of R and Hollywood needs to pay attention to horror fans, not some idiot who gets scared too easily if even so much a fake ghost pops out and says "Boo" or money.
Well, might as well go back and enjoy my good ol' bloodfests!
Like this one:
And to quote Cryus during the review of One Missed Call "Fuck PG-13 horror!"
Comment
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Comment by BladeTheMetalHead on March 28, 2009 at 1:43pm -
First off, I'll say this right here. I'm sick of these PG-13 horror movies. They put no effort into the story or acting for a second. But I will say this. There are a few good PG-13 horror movies out there. And some of hem you named. Cloverfield was incredible and who ever hated that movie is a complete retard for dissing a movie that was so original and well done. The Ring was and still is to this day the only good Japanese horror remake. And you're right on another thing. They're just made for people who can't handle R rated horror movies or even NC-17 for that matter. I completely agree with this post and I think everyone else should because this is actual fact.
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Comment by Trent on October 31, 2008 at 4:04am -
FUCK that movie pulse that was shit just pure shit
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Comment by Burn Victim on October 30, 2008 at 10:27pm -
ratings have nothing to do with it.
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Comment by Señor Chaken on October 29, 2008 at 9:57pm -
wow! sounds like somebody cant get it up w/o seeing a bloody head stump.
don't get me wrong, i luv horror movies, and they're even better when the killings are gruesome. but sometimes it gets old, like a comedian who just curses in all his jokes to be funny, it just doesn't work and can get old real quick. ppl need to be creative w/ their scares. so i believe they shouldn't be so dependent on the blood and guts. sometimes it takes something else like
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Comment by Meh. on October 29, 2008 at 9:50pm -
Yeah I agree with the other guys about Cloverfield. That was more of a Thrill than horror.
Though there were some scenes that made jump, I wasn't literally scared of anything in that movie really.
Now-a-days, people don't rely on REAL scary stuff, instead it's about a ton of jump scares and hot stupid girls running and tripping from the slowest motherfucking killers in the world.
But R movies aren't that good either. They can be the same shit as a PG-13 movie, just with people getting eaten and torn to shreds with no shirt on.
These days, I have yet to have seen a good/original american horror movie that is good and worth watching.
If not, I just watch it for the stupid acting and laugh at all the deaths.
If you've seen Quarantine, you know what I mean lol.
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Comment by MDS on October 29, 2008 at 9:43pm -
While I personally don't care one way or another for a movie to get a PG-13 rating over a R rating, there are a couple of genres that I MUST have with a R rating. Horror movies and War movies.
I'm sorry, but I'm not scared one bit by jump scares. More than 90% of the time, I can SEE the jump scare coming, and can actually TELL the people on the screen what's going to happen. Another thing, I NEED BLOOD. I'm sorry, but when you think about it logically, the human body has a LOT of liquid in it. I want to SEE the blood FLOWING when you cut someone's arm off. I'm sick and tired of these piss-poor movies that are more afraid of hurting someone than scaring people. Come on, there's NOTHING like seeing a head splatter like the old movies like Scanners.
I go to Horror movies and War movies because I'm EXPECTING to see people torn apart, blood everywhere, chunks of people stuck to the walls and gallons of blood pouring down the hallways. I'm SICK of people raving about a PG-13 movie as a 'scary' movie when I actually YAWN during the 'killings'.
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Comment by Mike on October 29, 2008 at 9:23pm -
I liked Cloverfield but I don't consider it horror. I don't like any horror films honestly. But I can "appreciate" some of them to some extent. I think minus all the over elaborate gore they suck ass. There is never a good plot in a horror movie, so all that means is you must have as much gore as possible in order to beef it up, without that you have nothing. That's why movies like hostel and saw did so well, people are sick and like seeing pain. But psychological scares in movies are stupid. You are looking at a screen. So I guess I must agree with you. It's R(and up) or nothing.
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Comment by michael on October 29, 2008 at 8:41pm -
the ring was good when it came out but after that we had a saturation of a copy of the ring and when u see the ring again its bulll cuz we seeeen it
cloverfield sucked
um high tension is awesome
its a great story
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Comment by Collin on October 29, 2008 at 7:46pm -
Cloverfield, Disturbia, and Sixth Sense are really the only good PG-13 horror movies that I can think of.
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Comment by MangaMan on October 29, 2008 at 7:40pm -
Am I the only one who like both Grudge movies?
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