Word's out that a remake of
Moby Dick is in the works. I don't feel all that confident in it. So it had me thinking about other remakes, including reboots, such as comic book films. So here's my immediate opinion.
The Good
5:

This is here because it's from a time when remakes of Japanese horror films were original and not a used-up gimmick. This movie popped out of the dark and scared the shit out of everyone.
4:

Loved the book, loved the original movie, loved this. I guess I have nothing more to say.
3:

Remember that old crap about "JAMES BLOND!" and how everyone's saying Daniel Craig couldn't do well. Well, now we know that's bullshit. Can't wait for
Quantum of Solace.
2:

This is the remake that had to be made well. A film that lived up to the hype. This is one of the best films, ever. A very respectable remake of the '30s classic, a groundbreaking piece for animation and film itself.
1:

After a decent first two films, the Batman movie franchise took a turn for the worst.
JOEL SCHUMACHER. A name all Batman fans have come to know and loathe.
Batman and Robin is one of the worst films in the history of history
BUT THEN: Years later, Christopher Nolan came out with
Batman Begins, a respectable introduction to the reboot. But then it got followed up with (drumroll)
THE MOTHERF*CKIN' DARK KNIGHT!
Enough said.
The Bad
5:

Tom Hanks as Colonel Sanders!
As a huge fan of Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness and classic British comedy, this was a terrible attempt at a remake. Not one of the worst films I've seen, but nowhere near as good as the original, which was underrated as far as I'm concerned.
4:

Jeff Goldblum trying to take on a Vincent Price role... AND FAILING!
As a science fiction icon, it would take real film-making balls to be able to remake the original. And this group didn't have 'em.
3:

Like I said before, Japanese horror-flick remakes are a tired gimmick nowadays. And this just didn't cut it. I could make a whole section on it, but I won't.
2:

This hurts me as a huge Carrey fan, but this was just an unfunny film. I tried to give a laugh, even a brief chuckle, but alas, nothing. That's all, really.
1:

I'm a Tim Burton fan, and this was a hit to the 'nads. I'm sorry, but this was just a sad excuse for a remake. And the ending, though true to the book, was nowhere near as good as the classic moment in the original.
And now, all you really want to see!
THE UGLY
5:

I'm a John Waters fan, I'm a fan of the original, and I absolutely can't stand any of the uppity Disney teens (The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and (shutter) Zac Efron) so this film was a depressing let-down. I also hate musicals. So I personally couldn't stand this.
4:

A bunch of recycled dialogue in new context, terrible plot, and lack of any action. This can only be (cue theme song)
SUPERMAN RETURNS
The only thing I enjoyed was the dialogue with Kevin Spacey and Parker Posey. Depressingly, the same exact dialogue was shared between Gene Hackman and Valerie Perrine. So oh well.
3:

Peter Sellers is rolling in his grave.
Steve Martin should get his nuts cut off for this. A terrible, disrespectfully bad (FART JOKES?) remake of the classic original British series. Martin accentuates the accent so much so that you can hardly understand it (which they then make jokes about) in an attempt to make the character a retard. BUT THE CHARACTER WASN'T DUMB! He was just clumsy and unlucky. This is one of the worst films I've seen. And Steve Martin apologized to the public for their anger. And now he's making a sequel. F*ck Steve Martin.
2:

This film was so hyped up with a robotic Kong to be used, and apparent amazing action. This was all lies. This is now one of the most famous flops known to Hollywood. Before the new
King Kong remake, which is amazing, was made, this bullshit stunk up the cinemas.
AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR...
NUMBER ONE WORST REMAKE EVER MADE:

That's right, the famously terrible monster film, giving a new definition to "disaster film." This hyped up remake of the Tokyo hit was such shit it's not even funny. It's like stock footage from a rip-off of Jurassic Park badly thrown with some Broderick screaming and running. This film deserves the Oscar for biggest lump of crap ever thrown on a screen.
That's what I have to say. What do you think?
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