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Cyrus's Blog – February 2009 Archive (24)

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Cyrus Feels A Bit Sick Even Thinking About Just Having Watched "Extreme Movie"



I have no one to blame but myself.



What did I think, that any film with the title “_______ Movie” even had the outside chance of being amusing at this point? I figured, hey, it’s got segments co-written by SNL peeps like Will Forte and Andy Samberg.… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 28, 2009 at 3:30pm — 18 Comments

New Pictures and Trailer to Battlestar Galactica Spin-Off Movie, "Caprica"

Only a few episodes left to Battlestar Galactica and already I'm sad. Anytime a quality source of entertainment like this one comes to an end, it's always depressing, but at least it's a natural death, unlike so many other shows canceled before their time. Of course, anything this popular on TV any you know what happens...SPIN-OFF!



And with that, I present the Battlestar Galactica spin-off, "Caprica". From the… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 25, 2009 at 5:33pm — 5 Comments

Cyrus Kvetches about the DVD of "Dead Like Me: Life After Death"



Bryan Fuller. The man who could save Heroes, if anyone still cares. Not me, personally, but if the talented Fuller managed to keep a show alive during it’s death throes rather than have a show be canceled while it’s at its best, that would be a pleasant change for him. Having weathered the cancellations of three… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 25, 2009 at 4:19pm — 10 Comments

Cyrus Reviews the Blu-Ray "Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder"



Good news, fans of Fox’s cancelled Sci-Fi animated series, Futurama. It looks like due to the success of their four direct-to-dvd Futurama movies, Fox will bring the show back for a sixth season. Seems kind of like going back to an abusive husband after Fox’s shoddy treatment of episode releasing during the fourth and fifth seasons (I mean,… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 25, 2009 at 3:43am — 15 Comments

Cyrus Presents Jason's Review of The "Red Sands" DVD



I swear to you all right now that I was trying to do the right thing here. Normally I wouldn't have given "Red Sands" a second look but as it's by the writer/director team that did the supposedly good cult horror film "Dead Birds", I figured that this one might be a 'find' for LEOG's resident horror…
Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 25, 2009 at 1:41am — 2 Comments

Cyrus Reviews "The Midnight Meat Train: Unrated Director's Cut"



I remember back in oh, 85 or so, when I first started reading Clive Barker’s Books of Blood. Like many, I started my experience with Barker’s bloody worlds with the story recommended to me by another horror fan, “The Midnight Meat Train” from his cornball looking, heavily dogeared copy of the first book.… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 25, 2009 at 1:14am — 30 Comments

Mickey Rourke's Crazy Acceptance Speech

Last night's Oscar festivities were kind of dull. Hugh Jackman seemed to only be there to remind people on Broadway that he's a song and dance man (Jazz Claws!) much to the ever-loving annoyance of, I'm sure, a lot of viewers. Couldn't they have trotted out his schtick the next time a musical was up for next picture? I think they should make Steve Martin host for life. It's the one thing he's still reliably excellent at.



There were only a few surprises really. Maybe it's because most… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 23, 2009 at 2:30pm — 39 Comments

Battlestar Galactica: The Movie and Why You Won't Care



Here we are in the final episodes of the popular re-imagined TV show "Battlestar Galactica" and the show has really lived up to it's original promise. Who would have ever thought that something with that title, originally a mediocre rip-off of Star Wars for TV in the seventies, would end up being miles better than the last three Star Wars movies? While the first show still has… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 21, 2009 at 12:47pm — 22 Comments

Cyrus Presents Jason's Review of the "Body of Lies" Blu-Ray



I already gave my two cents on this one in our animated Spill review and I liked it quite a bit. I guess I still owe Jason something for all the atrocious stuff I've made him review for the site. Here's his…
Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 19, 2009 at 4:33pm — 8 Comments

Cyrus Reviews the DVD of "Frozen River"



“Desperation Knows No Borders”



That’s the text at the bottom of the DVD case for "Frozen River" and it accurately sums up the message of the film. Which inspired me to make my own movie about a bunch of poor people working like slaves in a bookstore called “Desperation Knows No Barnes & Noble”.



Yeah, yeah, gimme a break. This isn’t the kind of movie… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 19, 2009 at 4:02pm — 1 Comment

Cyrus Reviews the "Soul Men" DVD



Motherfrakker. Frak you motherfrakking motherfrakker. Frak your frak hole and your daddy’s frak hole and the frakking motherfrakking frak you frakked in on. Since this isn’t a review for Battlestar Galactica, you can probably tell I’m paraphrasing, but this is indeed a typical line of dialogue in this musical comedy from director… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 19, 2009 at 3:38pm — 11 Comments

Cyrus Presents Jason's Review of the "Quarantine" DVD



Jason takes the words right out of my, erm, fingers with his review here of 'Quarantine' the uber-rushed remake of the fantastic Spanish horror film [REC] (which by the way, I did a animated review for here). I was surprised how he didn't mention how badly they screwed up the…
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Added by Cyrus on February 17, 2009 at 7:22pm — 16 Comments

Cyrus Reviews the 80's. Parts Of It Anyways.

I was a child of the 80s. A teenager of the 80s anyways. All the stuff I lived through, all the momentous world events, and I was crashed out in front of the TV most of the time. Not much has changed. Why, just the other day someone mentioned that we had a new President. Really? The President of what? I don’t know. But I did religiously watch anything that was put in front of me. Except the news. Here’s some recent releases from the decade of ‘meh’.…



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Added by Cyrus on February 16, 2009 at 5:07pm — 25 Comments

Cyrus Presents Merry's Review of "Nights in Rodanthe"



Three films. Three films with Diane Lane and Richard Gere. You'd think after the failure of 84's "The Cotton Club" the powers that be would be loathe to put the two of them back together again, but after the surprising success of their re-pairing in 02's "Unfaithful" I guess they thought it…
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Added by Cyrus on February 12, 2009 at 4:24pm — 15 Comments

Cyrus Reviews the Blu-Ray of "Igor"



Wondering what happened to that cool looking animated movie “Igor”? You know, the one with John Cusack and Steve Buscemi doing voices in it about a land of Evil Scientists (capitalized and bolded for the superior Mua Ha Ha factor) and the Igor who… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 12, 2009 at 1:22am — 16 Comments

Professor Cyrus's Film School Presents "The Sidney Poitier Collection"



Sidney Poitier is ABSOLUTELY one of my favorite actors. Sure, he ends up playing the ultra-likable guy a lot in his movies because, well, he so gorram is ultra-likable. He's one charismatic dude. The man doesn't get by just on charm either; he's no slouch in the acting department. This box set, more up to quality standards across the board (as opposed to most sets of this… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 11, 2009 at 6:39pm — 10 Comments

The Scoop on FX's Live Action Version of Brian Michael Bendis's Comic "Powers"



Are you excited? I'm excited.



Wait...



You don't even know what Powers is? You don't even know who Brian Michael Bendis is?



*sigh*



After this you're going to go over to The League Lounge and try to… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 10, 2009 at 2:30pm — 9 Comments

Cyrus Gives the Cheat Codes to the Blu-Ray of "Max Payne - Unrated"



At start menu, turn off movie. If that does not work, take 6 large swigs from closest bottle of liquor and press the X button.



-Hand film to a director who Rotten Tomatoes has rated his entire career with a zero percent: 0-0-0-0



-Make Donal Logue appear… Continue

Added by Cyrus on February 9, 2009 at 4:34pm — 11 Comments

Cyrus Presents Jason vs Steven Segal vs Vampires



I...I...can't do it. I can't take any of the thunder away from Jason on this one by describing anything about it. He wanted it. BEGGED for it. Thank FSM. It sat there like a mind destroying hot potato on the top of my DVD pile. I should have known that there was only…
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Added by Cyrus on February 9, 2009 at 3:00pm — 6 Comments

Cyrus Presents Jason's Review of "Blindness"



Jason has become so reliable as a reviewer of films, I can't merely drop off on him any old piece of horror crap that comes down the line (although more often than not, he asks for it). I was surprised that "Blindness" was something he was excited about and I tried not to show my "Gorramit, I was looking forward to watching that one"…
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Added by Cyrus on February 9, 2009 at 2:30pm — 15 Comments

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