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LempiElinika's Blog (25)

A Whatever's Clever Review: State of Decay

What would you do if one day you came back from a camping and hiking trip only to find that the world had collapsed and the dead walk the earth? Personally I would off myself because screw that noise. Luckily this game doesn't make you want to just end it all. This is State of Decay.

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Added by LempiElinika on June 13, 2013 at 12:02pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Metro: Last Light

The world is a dark and fragile place. What will happen to us once we can no longer call the surface home? When we can no longer bathe in the sunlight, breathe the fresh air, or stare out into the wild blue sky? Will we put aside our differences? Or will we continue our brotherly bloodshed, using others for our own means and leaving those who think differently than ourselvs to rot in the cold underground? Will one last light of hope eminate from the inky blackness of the Moscow metro…

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Added by LempiElinika on May 21, 2013 at 8:39am — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Star Trek

Are you ready to join the crew of the USS Enterprise? To seek out new life and new civilization? To boldly go where no one has gone before? Then put on your red shirt and get beamed up. This is Star Trek.

 

 

 

 

 

I must profess this review with saying Star Trek is my biggest fandom. I love Star Trek, so much. It may taint my review somewhat…

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Added by LempiElinika on April 29, 2013 at 9:54am — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Bioshock Infinite

Will you stand strong in the face of overwhelming odds? Will you remain true to yourself as an entire city wages war against you and your ward? Do you even know who you truly are? This is Bioshock Infinite.

 

 

 

This game is one of the best games I have played in over five years. I’m starting the review off like this so you know I truly…

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Added by LempiElinika on April 3, 2013 at 7:31pm — 7 Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Army of Two The Devils Cartel

Are you ready for an intense romp through co-op town? Ready to team up with a friend and play as two fun and over the top mercenaries in a fun over the top action roll about town? Well too bad, this is none of those things. This is Army of Two: The Devils Cartel. If you want those other things go play the first two.

 

 

 

Obviously judging from my…

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Added by LempiElinika on April 2, 2013 at 1:03pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Metal Gear Rising Revengeance

pieces then rip their spines out and feast on their life essence? Boy howdy if you answered yes to either of these questions do I have a game for you. It’s time for Metal Gear Rising: REVENGEANCE. A good game with quite possibly one of the worst names I have ever heard. Silly Japanese.

 

 

 

Well you already know I like the…

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Added by LempiElinika on February 27, 2013 at 9:00pm — 2 Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Dead Space 3

Hey everybody, it’s time to once again sync our rigs and grab any god damn tool that inexplicably also acts as a gun and smash some necro limbs off. Let’s go space walking in Dead Space 3.

 

 

 

      Dead space is a franchise about space zombies. They aren’t zombies in a traditional sense but zombies none the less. You play as Isaac Clarke in his increasingly…

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Added by LempiElinika on February 17, 2013 at 7:47pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Halo 4

Are you ready to kill hordes of aliens without breaking a sweat? Are you ready to … never mind there are so few things actually HAPPENING in this game all I can talk about is killing aliens. This is Halo 4… or 3? …5 I don’t know they all blend together.

 







      That all may sound overly negative but in reality I quite enjoy…

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Added by LempiElinika on November 10, 2012 at 5:25pm — 5 Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Assassin's Creed III

Are you ready to run through the trees? Are you ready to assassinate target after target working your way to victory through a river of your enemies’ blood? Are you ready to ignite a world changing revolution? Then get ready to play Assassin’s Creed 3.

 …

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Added by LempiElinika on November 4, 2012 at 2:51pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Dishonored

When the world goes black, when the most corrupt hold the most power, and when the hope of the many rest upon the shoulders of one. Darkness is your most powerful weapon, with blade and magic you will cut corruption from the world. When you’ve been cast out and dishonored, revenge solves everything.

 

 …

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Added by LempiElinika on October 17, 2012 at 8:45pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Borderlands 2

Come with me on a trip. There are Skags to put down, Bullymongs to blast away, guns to grab and loot to sell. Are you ready to truck across the land of Pandora again? I sure am, let’s get to it. Time for Borderlands 2.

 

 

 

      Borderlands 2 starts us out a few years after the events of the first game. The original four vault hunters are…

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Added by LempiElinika on October 1, 2012 at 1:13pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Dragon's Dogma

What’s this? A JRPG disguised within the trappings of a WRPG? Let’s see, could this be any good? Come on down and slay some goblins with me while I review Dragon’s Dogma

 

 

 

First off I have heard a lot of people say this is Capcom’s answer to Skyrim; I have to disagree. This game is nowhere near as good as Skyrim. What it is though, is its own unique entity and should be considered as such. If you hold every single title up to a slightly similar game that is one of the… Continue

Added by LempiElinika on June 10, 2012 at 9:30am — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Diablo 3

Are you ready for hours of random dungeon crawling? Are you itching to look at weapon and armor stats every five seconds? Well you're in luck! Time to play us some Diablo 3.

 

 

 

This is going to be a fairly short review, so I will save you some time. Did you like the first two? If so, this is…

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Added by LempiElinika on May 29, 2012 at 12:04pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Max Payne 3

Review: Max Payne: 3 X-BOX 360

 

 Grab your guns, ridiculous amount of painkillers, and that cloud you predominately display over your head. We are going deep into the seedy underbelly of Brazil for another adventure with everyone’s favorite psychotic, depressive vigilante—it’s Max Payne…

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Added by LempiElinika on May 23, 2012 at 7:00pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Rage

Hop in your dune buggy, load up your assault rifle, and make sure you grab plenty of wingsticks. We're going pedal to the metal with RAGE.

 

 

      Rage is the story…

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Added by LempiElinika on October 10, 2011 at 5:24pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Gears of War 3

Do you have your Lancer ready? Are you quaking with anticipation over curb-stomping some Locust? Well then suit up, COG, it’s Gears of War 3.









      In Gears of War you fought against the Locust incursion. In Gears of War 2 not only the human but the Locust were pushed to the breaking point.…

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Added by LempiElinika on September 22, 2011 at 8:02pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Dead Island

Sun, sweat, blood, and tears. Welcome to Dead Island, a lovely view into a hellish paradise.





Dead Island is an open world, post Zombie outbreak, skull bashing vacation in the beautiful island resort known as Banoi. It starts off with a cut scene right when you start…

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Added by LempiElinika on September 8, 2011 at 5:14pm — 2 Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Red Faction Armageddon

        Welcome to Mars. The red planet, named after the god of war himself. Will it ever know peace? It's time to find out; this is Red Faction Armageddon for X-Box 360.

 



        It's time to leave the open free surface of Mars and head back to the confining, claustrophobic, soul-crushing mines that this franchise was born in. This time…

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Added by LempiElinika on June 9, 2011 at 6:59pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: Red Faction Armageddon

        Welcome to Mars. The red planet, named after the god of war himself. Will it ever know peace? Its time to find out, this is Red Faction Armegeddon for X-Box 360.

 

 

        It's time to leave the open free surrfice of Mars and head back to the confineing clostrophobic soul crushing mines that this franchise was born in.…

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Added by LempiElinika on June 9, 2011 at 6:09pm — No Comments

A Whatever's Clever Review: inFAMOUS 2

Do you want to sling lightning like Zeus? Do you enjoy grinding around on powerlines while bewildered citizens look up in awe? Then charge up and make sure you're grounded. This is inFAMOUS 2 electric boogaloo (sorry couldn't resist). For the PS3.

 

 

 

        Welcome to the beautifully lawless city of New Marais, where the women are almost as loose as…

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Added by LempiElinika on June 8, 2011 at 6:46pm — No Comments

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