For those of you who know who I am, I have finally decided to abandon my ancient settings and switch to my preferred handle. Falconpunch is dead, but the guy behind the keyboard is the same.

What the fuck, man? I thought we were brothers. We've been to the ends of the earth and beyond together. You and I have slain dragons, mammoths, giants; sometimes we've slain all three at the same time. We single-handedly won the war for the Stormcloaks, and even though you were stuck on a rock most of the time, you helped me drive Alduin from our world. I thought I could count on you to help me out with some light crime. But the second I try to make a quick 1000 gold from the Dark…

My mom asks me what I want for Christmas. I say nothing really, but there's a good deal on the LotR box set on amazon. A day later, she sends me the order confirmation via email, along with a list of BluRays my sister has queued up in my parents' amazon account. I buy the one I suspect she wants the most, though I'll be very surprised if she doesn't end up with the whole set by Christmas day.

My mom tells me we're planning on going to Leavenworth this year. Leavenworth is a…

After much waffling and hesitation on my part, I finally set up my Blogspot account. Don't worry- you don't have to read anything! It's all pictures! Some people even think they're pretty good. Check it out if you have a minute: http://dvermeul.blogspot.com/

Because in it's own incredibly subtle way, it's taking a stab at religion. The way I see it, "Great Pumpkin" has a very simple message: If you base your life around a fictionalized story that promises pleasure later for sacrifice now, you're going to miss out on a whole lot of fun for absolutely zero payoff.

You can't beat the Christmas special's score, though.

There seems to be some controversy about when it's alright to call someone on the stupid shit they've said on this site. I've defended Hector a time or two, not because he's never said anything beyond reproach, but because I was under the impression that he is very young. Based on his profile pic and his writing, I pegged Hector at around 10 years old. However, a cursory glance at Hector's page the other day revealed that Hector is, in fact, 16 years old. In my opinion, 16 is well past the…

It is well known that cyclists are angry people. The second a cyclist's hand touches a handlebar, he will immediately look for something that doesn't quite sync up with the high moral standards that come with being a person who rides a bicycle. Then comes the yelling. Frankly, I don't blame cyclists for being petty, mean-spirited people. People on bikes are the lowest form of transportation. That isn't an opinion. It's a fact. If you look at how roads in the United States are set up,…

Hipster is obviously the default answer, but I think I've found a more specific group that's even more intolerable: punk kids who don't realize that punk is dead. If you're a member of this group, don't even think about bitching me out and making a list of your favorite punk bands to try to disprove me. I don't care. That's not why I hate you. I hate you because you're just another form of the hipster douchebag; your sense of humor and personality is completely identical to that of a…

It's pretty bad. I'm a big fan of the SModcast network and Kevin Smith's work on it, and after listening to Kev go on and on about this movie for months, I'm sad to say that this film is exactly what I thought it would be. It's all raw, unfiltered stoner passion that never quite coheres enough to mean anything. It's never quite the bold statement that Kev wants it to be; it's always more of a paranoid rant. I love Kevin Smith to death, but if I'm being honest, I have to say that Red State is…

Does it get dramatically better after the first couple of episodes? Because what I've seen so far is a complete cheese-fest that thinks it can make up for shit actors and dialogue with copious amounts of gore. Let me know if that's to be expected early in the series, because if it stays like this, I can't stick with it.