If it's crap ... We'll tell you
I finished the first part of a short story I'm working on I would like feedback and opinions on how it could be better. If you like what you see say it down in the comments. Also, this is a rough draft so if theres one or two mistakes the'll be fixed eventually.
I awoke in a cold sweat, which is strang since I just fell asleep thirteen minutes ago. Even more alarming was that I woke up in a completely different room. I laid frozen in bed, no on a bare mattress.
"Didn't I fell asleep in my normal bed?"
Not only that but it seemed that I'm wasn't the only person to have this happen to them since they were a skeletons on a bloodier bed next to me aranged by type of bone. The walls were covered in vintage pictures of people and familys I didn't know, the picture also looked like they were juct put up on the wall and dusted. There was a special picture that grabed my attention. It was a picture of family posed in a triangular formation kids knelling on the bottom and what i suspect is there dad standing behind them wearing a plain black suit with a shamrock charm in the front pocket.
The air in the room was dusty and still, and the floor was no different. The bare wood floor had a thin layer of dust on it and every step I toke kicked up more dust. The room was dark with the only source of light coming from a alarm colck next to the bed i woke up in. The room seemed like it was abandond a long time ago, but how did the skeletons get here? What expains the dusted pictures on the wall?
"I can't belive how calm I am right now, shouldn't be more worried?"
It was right after that though that I relized how drastic the situation was. I was overcomed by a sudden rush of panic.
"I have to get out of hear!"
Immediatley tried to find a light switch,trying to get a better grasp on what is going on. I was touching the wall trying to find a switch when I was shocked by an old light switch. I wanted to scream in pain but it wasn't like anyone would hear me. The room seemed much less safe when I fliped the switch, since the fiirst thing I saw was the petrified image of myself in one of the pictures. My emerald green eyes, the freckals and the crazy red bedhair. It was me all right but in a 20's style picture. I was about to lose my mind when I saw the only reasuring thing in the room, a errie screen door that lead to a ominous hallway.
"Should I even try to go down this hallway?"
Like I even had a choice, the room was dirty, creeping and old and the only exit was this hallway. It seemed like it was at least an hoour (allthough it was obiously only a couple of seconds) when I took my first step in the hallway. The first step would deprive me of my illusion of false security and the illusion of sanity.
Agian dont forget too leave comments below and give sugestions.