If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Alright-- First transformers: Love it. Full Price Second One: Heavily Flawed, but still fun for me. I'm sorry. I like it. I've watched it many times thinking it wouldn't hold up. It still does. I'm sorry. Shut up!
If you're unsatisied right now, you should probably leave because you won't be happy by the end of this review.
I'll start with the good, as I always do: Plenty of great action scenes involving humans and Robots alike with just about everyone getting there own bad ass moment. Bay is great at directing action. The plot, while thin and very similar to the other films, had enough twists and turns and mystery to keep me invested. There are even a couple of big reveals that I really liked. The acting is competant, though it does stray with some and I even got some laughs. I also liked the new girl, despite the Liv Tyler lips. I also didn't think it felt like a Victoria's Secret commercial or a car commercial the whole time, as Korey claims. The exception being the Very first shot of Rosie Huntington-Somethingorother, where we get a closeup of her ass in nothing but a thong, and you have your typical "supermodel extras" that are hotter than they should be, but they didn't distract too much. I also like that John Tuturo's character wasn't all that annoying in this one. Even Lebouf's parents were used to a small degree in this one, and weren't quite as annoying, except for one overly-vulgar joke.
Now for the bad, the part most will probably want to love: I said I liked the new girl, but I liked Megan Fox's character a bit better. That's not saying a whole lot, but Fox's character did more in the other films. This girl is pretty much a damsel in distress the whole time. Another big problem is that Shockwave is deemed as the film's main villain on the IMDB pages. He aint. He may as well not have been named. He has no real dialogue and probably fired his gun twice. Another false point is that the cameos by Ken Jeong and John Malcovich. Malchovich serves no purpose and his last couple of scenes should have been deleted. Jeong is just annoying and I was so relieved when his character died. No real spoiler there. The only other bad thing I can name is that we spend too much time with people. We needed a few more scenes with Robots at this point.
In response to the Spill Crew's review: I really think you guys went in ready to hate it due to a personal bias against Michael Bay. I'm sorry, had this been directed by almost everyone else, you would have given it a higher rating. You went in not caring, and that's why you don't try to like it. Leon says "They're going to turn us into slaves by killing us all?" They clearly stated in the movie that they were sealing off the city. Now, I can respect your opinion. How you feel is how you feel and I can't do shit about it. I love you guys, but I really think you went into this biased after Transformers 2. Co-Host, I really think you need to go back and watch a Friedberg and Seltzer movie again to really remind you of what a "Fuck You!" movie is.
With all due respect, I give it a High, enthusiastic, MATINEE
"Co-Host, I really think you need to go back and watch a Friedberg and Seltzer movie again to really remind you of what a "Fuck You!" movie is."
Since when did it a become a prerogative for the Spill crew to ONLY give a Friedberg & Seltzer movies a "fuck you"? Here's an idea, if you want to write a review, go ahead. But don't forcefully say, "Oh well this person is full of shit so therefore his opinion is invalid". Nothing with wrong with having an opinion, just don't bash someone elses opinion just because they thought differently of the product than what you perceived.
I'm not saying that ONLY F&S movies are fuck yous. All I'm saying is that this is nowhere near as bad as those movies. Not even close.
And I never said that there opinion is invalid. I said quite the opposite.
SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT
I have to give this movie a low fullprice. I watch movies to be entertained, obviously a film is a form of entertainment and I had a FUCKING GOD DAMN GOOD TIME in this movie. As a TF fan, yeah I should be pissed at a lot of the things in this movie but, there was plenty of fan service for me to enjoy. The action scenes were jaw dropping, especially in the last hour. Even the fucking comedy, as dumb as most of it was, managed to get some hard laughs out of me.
The only real problems I had with the film..
- Not enough Transformers TALKING. Though I do give the filmmakers credit for giving a lot of the Transformers much more dialogue then in the previous films.
-Shockwave. Why the hell was he marketed as the main villain of the film? He said ONE thing in the movie. ONE word, "Optimus". Though I did see him as more of a force of nature in the film, whenever he appeared with his huge ass digger robot, shit was going to get destroyed.
-Killing Megatron and Starscream. Why? I mean Megatron I have no problem with him getting killed, it's always possible to have Galvatron in TF4, but Starscream!? Come on, I loved him in TF2 and in this movie too, I felt sadder about HIM getting killed than I did Ironhide.
Awesome review man.
Just like you I also enjoyed watching Transformers 2 and the Revenge of the Fallen.
I am so glad that you reminded The Co-Host 3000 to to go back and watch a Friedberg and Seltzer movie again to really remind you of what a terrible movie really is because I was pretty dissapointed with The Spill.com Crew's audio movie review of Transformers 3 and the Dark of the Moon because The Spill.com Crew spends way to much time talking about the cons about the movie and they hardly talk about the pros about the movie.
Only Carlyle could have saved that very dry audio movie review with epic love of Transformers 3 and the Dark of the Moon.
Your entitled to write whatever you'd like dude just don't be surprised when people start defending Co Host like he is a religion or something.
Don't get me wrong, i like the hunk of metal, i'd want to sit next to him in a theater.
You Guys Are
Either Little Kids,
Can Clearly Tell
The Difference Between
Shit & Tolerable Shit!
TRANSFORMERS 3: DARK OF "MY ASS"
Doesn't Derserve To Be
IN ANY CATEGORY!
Like it's sister,
T2: REVENGE OF BAY'S GONADS,
S H I T ! ! !
It's called -
(A Rational Fear of
Joke's On You!