If it's crap ... We'll tell you
This is how it starts. The odd story here and there. They are here and they are spreading.
The cheeks are the best part.
I'm partial to a bit of crunchy nose cartilage.
if no-one has claimed the earlobes yet i'll take them along with the uvula and eyelids and make my signature dish
I signed up for zombie patrol years ago, sent my initial payment of $19.95, but still haven't received my starter kit.
What's the deal?
Just remember to calmly head to colder climate areas(via vehicle) where snow is abound, in case of zombie outbreak. Zombies have a harder time adjusting to colder weather. They become less active, less frantic, and die quicker. Try and choose lodges, houses or cabins that are in high altitudes( or atop a hill) so that any intruder or attacker can be visible from afar.
That is unless a zombie manages to infect a bear, badger, wolf, rabbit, or yeti. Especially Yetis; those things are pretty damn hard to kill...and for being that big, they move pretty damn quick in the snow. Like giant, graceful, hairy ballerinas, they'll amaze you in their elegance, and rip you to pieces in their brutality.
You may ask how to kill a Yeti, but I will answer to not even bother. Unless you have some demolition equipment handy, you're basically fucked if you come within 50-100 yards of one of these things, and they see you as a threat. Most guns are pretty damn worthless against them, as they have extremely thick hides and fur. If anything, you'll probably anger them even worse every time you fire at them. They have much more endurance than you'd expect, they cover more ground, and they are used to chasing/hunting their prey. Sure, they may be just a couple notches below human intelligence, but they are a couple notches higher than most apes, and Dolphins; and that's what makes them dangerous. I saw one use a gun once after he mangled a fellow "exterminator". He picked up the weapon our man was trying to kill him with, curiously pawed it, and eventually gathered how to use it within hours. You may laugh at this now, but It's all fun and games till the Yeti picks up a rifle; then it's a fucking massacre. Dark times, my friends, dark times.
Huh? Oh yes, that's right, Zombies. Zombies aren't really as bad as most people make them out to be - Well, they do bad things, but in terms of handling them, it's not such a big deal. They're kinda' low on the level of handling if you can contain an area of infection(which really isn't as difficult as you'd think it is, or as you see in the movies), in comparison to our handling of other "pests". Just remember to kill from afar, if you need to, be weary of strange activity from others nearby, stay fit so you can outrun them(even the runners aren't that fast after a day or so), have a good supply of food in stock close to you, and cut all emotional ties with any loved ones should they become infected, immediately. See? Simple...
Boy those bath salts sure do make people do some crazy shit!